Creepy Road – Review

Creepy Road – Review

When I heard the name, I immediately thought that this was going to be another zombie game. But oh boy, I couldn’t have been further from the truth! In fact, you actually play as a trucker named Flint, that was on his way to a circus until a (I kid you not) psycho bear jumped in front of his truck, and totaled the thing. You start at this spot and are ready to go on a rampage just to reach his beloved goal! Will this be a road to hell, or will this be an enjoyable road trip on our way to the circus? Was it Groovy Milk or rather Spoiled Milk? All these questions and more will be answered after these sponsored messages… Haha, no no, don’t worry. No ads or sponsor messages here, just a review! Let’s explore this creepy road now, shall we?

What is good?

  • Visuals: Whoa there. What’s this? I don’t know who Groovy milk’s art director is but give that man, or woman a medal! It just looks so damn well good! From the static images that pop up whenever there is a story moment, all the way down to the level design and whichever fills those levels. It all looks fresh, clean and bloody well drawn! This truly is this game’s strongest feature and I god damn well hope they keep this person or persons on board! Your eyes are sure in for a good treat with this one if only the rest was just as good… sigh…

Mixed Feelings

  • Story: The story isn’t much to shake a stick at. It’s pretty much your run of the mill cliche story. Man wants to go to something pleasant with his beloved, only to be thwarted by fate. So you must destroy all the interlopers that are in your path while making your way to your beloved. Blegh, I think I just swallowed a bit of bile while writing this. It’s not the worst, but god it could’ve been a bit more original.
  • Has potential: What saddens me the most, is that even though the game ‘s visuals are absolutely amazing, the rest at this moment just suuuucks. Way to many glitches to be anything but good. Please, FIX THIS GAME!

What is bad?

  • Glitches, glitches everywhere: There are so many glitches here, that I am going to make this a multi-faceted point. No point into throwing them under their own point as all of them link to the same part, and that is glitches.
    • FPS drops/skipping: There’s a certain point in this game that makes it nearly unplayable. You’ll have to bite through the bullet if you want to explore the game further. And that’s at the end of the 2nd level. The FPS drops are so bad, even your gunshot animation doesn’t work. For the remainder of what I saw, was that this game has some huge frame skipping issues. Where you would be walking, and suddenly skip a few frames to be warped a bit further down the road. Resulting, sometimes, in death as you couldn’t see what was coming.
    • Reversed weapon switching: When switching through the weapons, the buttons should be simple, right? Right bumper makes it go to the right and the left bumper makes it go to the left in the menu. Self-explanatory, right? Well, someone needs to tell the coder to make the L shape with his thumb and index finger for him to be sure what the left side is because this is in a reversed order here! Right bumper goes LEFT, and the left bumper goes RIGHT. How! And not even this works as it should! As this would (just like the frames skipping at random) skip a few guns, making a quick swap nearly IMPOSSIBLE.
    • Floaty Mcgee: Be careful how you jump on certain object guys because you could actually get stuck on an invisible pixel and then just stand there! Losing a few precious seconds in the process. Resulting in you taking damage that could be avoided otherwise if you could instantly move! Nor are there any clear indicators as to what is walkable terrain, and what is not. There is almost no distinction as to what is in front, and thus walkable, and what is behind.
    • I shot you, please die!: What good are hitboxes, if you implement them in the worst way possible? Right. They aren’t good at all then! You could be standing in front of an enemy that’s on a slightly higher or lower elevation, and not hit him, but he could be hitting you without any problem what so ever. Or one shot could go through, for instance, a floor, but the next shot wouldn’t. It’s this kind of inconsistency that ruined the experience for me.

Creepy Road – 25/100

Toot toot, this train just got wrecked. And I had such high hopes for it when I saw the trailer and the first couple of minutes that I was in-game. Unfortunately, things get worse fairly quick at the moment of writing this. Their only (current) saving grace, is the fact that the people who designed the art of this game? Are out of this world! I damn well LOVE the way it’s drawn! But unfortunately good art doesn’t save a game entirely and I can only hope that Groovy Milk learns from this for their future games! So there you have it guys, this is my review of Creepy Road. Sigh… It was such a letdown and I really hope a patch gets released soon to fix this mess… Oh well… Time to get on with life!