Spiderman… Spiderman does whatever a spider… Yeah yeah, you know the lyrics. Well, that’s the tune that’ll be running through your mind the entire time you’ll be playing this game. Let’s quickly introduce you to Verlet Swing. The game is as the name says, to be honest. A game that consists out of you swinging from one end to the other and finish as quick as you can. In levels that seem to be created during someone’s bad LSD trip. Because my god… the things that you’ll be flying through is concerning, to say the least! From flying dolphins to bouncing meatballs, heck there are even rockets that you cling on to. Flamebait really must’ve been doing some crazy psychedelics to come up with the 100 levels that make up this rage-fest of a game! So did this peak your interest guys? Then wait no more, as we explore Verlet Swing!
- Party Game: IF there’s one saving grace for Verlet Swing? Then it has to be the way statistics are being used. Each run on every level has its own timer built in. Which means you can shave off precious seconds if you study the levels well. Or, it means that if you’re hosting a party and your mates want to know which party games you’ve all got on your glorious Xbox? That you could pop this one on and have a blast… Ofcourse if you’ve got a strong stomach and you didn’t do psychedelics or drink a lot of alcohol! Otherwise, that challenge might really end up badly for anyone wanting to try this game out! More on this as for the why and the what for in the next section!
- Skip ahead: Nope nope and nope! MOVE ALONG!
- Vomit Inducing colors: Look at the pictures posted here, look at the patterns, look at how PINK it all is. And, before you come and say “But Alexis you don’t like Pink!”, let me tell you. I like pink, I’ve got a hot pink shirt and a baby pink t-shirt. Perks of being sun-kissed! Ok so, side-tracking here… Let’s get back on track! Imagine these patterns you are seeing here and combine it with a fast-paced swing, over and over… For more than HALF OF THE F*CKING GAME. My god, my eyes hurt so badly! The way it’s done here is just a big nono in my book and it should’ve been like this in theirs as well!
- What am I attaching to?: I don’t even know what was happening most of the times when my grappling hook wouldn’t attach to the thing that I was aiming at, but rather went through my hook spot, and attached to something all the way at the far side of the map… Why is this even possible! There were a few occasions that my hook grappled the roof of the level box… Which isn’t normally attachable and has a cross when you aim at it. But yup! It did, and it doesn’t feel funny, or cool, or whatever! No! Set the boundaries, or come up with a gimmick that would make this totally impossible. But do not give us a half-arsed PC port just to make a quick cash-grab!
- Song…!: Please just turn off the music the moment you get into the game because this one track soundtrack is just unbearable to listen to after a couple of levels. Sure it might sound catchy at first, but believe me when I say this. That shit will get old QUICK, just as will this game. Heck, this isn’t even a game, rather a poor excuse as to make it somewhat playable. But let it be clear, having a one-track loop, of a tune that isn’t even enjoyable, is NOT how you make a game noteworthy!
- Rinse and repeat: A lot of the 100 levels in Verlet Swing will feel just like the previous level you just swung through. Sure you can say that there is a bit of variation here and there, but it still boils down to one fact. And that is that the objects being used in the game are just overused. Yeah, they switch it up here and there and change the entire decor as well. Yet you’ll still see a lot of copy and pastes being done here, with maybe a meatball in a different spot or a cog where previously wasn’t one. Verlet Swing just feels like a bad decision being made worse by an awful looping song and sickening colors!
Lets be honest here guys. The grappling hook genre isn’t a big one. But where these lack in popularity, they more than makeup for it in quality. But I am unfortunate to say that this one really doesn’t feel like a quality game. With color patterns and theme’s that just hurt the eyes and hook points that just clip through, Verlet Swing won’t really make it on my “recommendable games” list.
Developer: Flamebait Games Publisher: Flamebait Games
Played on: Xbox One X Also available on: PS4 – Switch and PC
Alexis spent 4 hours fighting splitting headaches in the hopes that the torture would soon end.
Achievement difficulty for 1000 Gamerscore: Depends on how good you are at the game, if you can’t get past the god awful controls? Then probably never. If you can, you’ll be climbing a high skill ladder which would result in maybe 20 hours before you get everything?
Xbox Game Store link: Click here